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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
 Posted - 17 Feb 2010 : 01:19:26
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I know Fiz man   
Got a question, well two of them actualy. The first question is do you think a pitchblack minotaur emperor and golden armor sounds steriotypical? The second one is do you think I am dragging my feet? Admitedly I am not looking forward to re printing my entire first manuscript but its not because I am lazy. I want these books to get published but I dont know...I seem to be moveing slower the closer this project comes to compleation. Its weird
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
Edited by - dark mage on 09 Mar 2010 00:46:26 |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 00:56:31
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Nerves? or Cold Feet?  A combination of both??? Normal feelings kiddo... 
A pitchblack minotaur emperor and golden armor? NP here Did you think about another color?
"It was a weapon similar to no, it wasn't. Actually it was no, it wasn't that either. It was closer to... almost a... rather it was sort of a Lance, that's it! A Lance! And it was quite good against dragons."
Fizban the Fabulous, Dragons of Autumn Twilight |
Edited by - Fizban Who on 09 Mar 2010 00:56:57 |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 01:06:00
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Yeah your probebly right Fiz man
As for another color I did think of makeing him white but for some reason the name Soth just seemed to fit better with a black Minotaur. If you think it doesnt sound old or perhaps over done I am happy. Cause I know that golden armor has been used before in some other stories, usualy human knights though.
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 01:16:12
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If you remember I used all five colors of The Metallic Dragons to attire my Elfin Paladin's Armor......   |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 01:48:51
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Realy? I actualy didnt remember that. lol, cool
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 01:54:42
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| Yea some wore all Gold, all Silver, all Copper, all Brass and all Bronze... and why there are five members in the Council.... one to represent each color... |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 02:06:20
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Makes sense, definetly Reason I desided upon gold armor for Soth is because I want him to realy stand out from his men and all the other characters in the story. He's big, tough, and he means buisness, couldnt think of any better way to convay that
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 09 Mar 2010 : 02:09:07
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| That sounds good to me.... |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 05 Apr 2010 : 17:16:03
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Right what you are about to read is one of the major battles in my third book Crecendo of Swords. The Fall of Hain Oringard, the capitol of Morlaron. Read and tell me what you think because I want this battle to be perfect Now keep in mind as this is a rough there are spelling mistakes, please ignore them. What I really want is to hear what you think of the battle, how it plays out, if you think there is anything I should add or take away or maybe inprove upon. So here goes:
The next morning was colder by far then all the others that had come before it. The sun was hidden behind a sheet of thick slate gray clouds and at three hours past dawn it had begun to snow. The captain of the elfin archers had reported the dismantling of the enemy camp. The armies were assembled and ranks were formed to make ready for the coming battle. Drell, Loroedor, and Sarselnor stood upon the battlements the same as before on the day previous, all three held bows, arrows knocked to strings at the ready to raise and fire. Drell looked over his shoulder and saw Mathius and Claymore mounted at the head of the armies with Soth, Jather, and the Minotaurs to their right and Marislane and the Lismira to their left. Mina and Gold beard were down there somewhere, with Redtree and the others knights under Mathius most likely, Drell could not pick them out in the crush of steel but knew that he need not worry about either of them, too much.The three standards, the gold rose, the red rose and the silver moon, and the black bull stood together and presented a sight that uplifted the spirit. On the other side of the city walls it was a different story entirely.
The black tide continued to swell as ranks were formed, their numbers bordered upon impossible. At their head stood Zallack and the Zarquilen, and with them the archers of the Shamerra, black long bows held at ease. Malakarn sat mounted next to the rightside of his King Dracus, whos face was hidden by the visor of his black helm. The blind king was an enormous man, small wonder that Malakarn had desided to stand with him. The sight of the white eye and the sword next to the black spider and moon sent a chill down to the core of Drells being, forceing him to suppress a shiver.
But the sight that caused him the greatest distress was again the sight of Tassaiodor, who sat to Dracuss left. The Shadow elf king met Drells gaze the same as before. A great regret and sadness passed between them, as well as a level of undertanding, it could have been no other way. And as Drells eyes remained locked with those of his king he prayed that they would not cross blades upon the field and that Neldaroe would not blame himself for what ever transpired here today.
At a signal from Malakarn the Shadow elf king commanded his archers to fire. Shields were raised in answer to Loroedors shouted warning as black arrows with silver fletching fled from black long bows with deadly procision toward and over the walls of Hain Oringard. The archers of the Lismira held their ground and suffered no casualties, however cries from below told of arrows that had found their marks, too many. Mathius ordered a return of fire. Drell, Loroedor and the Lismira stood to obey. All shots aimed at the Zarquilen and the Shamerra archers were batted aside by the black blades of the cannibals, leaving the archers open to loose another volley.
This continued for a good ten or more miniuets until Malakarn barked for siece fire and ordered the foot soldiers to take to their weapons. Loroedor relayed this to Mathius who nodded and unsheathed his sword.
"This is it. Defenders of Hain Oringard, now is the time to show our enemies that this city, this country, is ours and that no one will ever take it from us. For Hain Oringard!"
"Hain Oringard!"
"For Morlaron!"
"Morlaron!" the combined shout of all the armies vibrated off the city walls. Mathius could not keep the pride filled smile from his face as he turned to face the gate again and order it open. Though it would end in defeat, this would be a great battle.
Enemy horns sounded a charge, Mathius and the armies of Hain Oringard rode out to meet it. The Zarquilen ripped into the first riders creating instant panic. Somehow Mathius managed to ride through them to cut down an archer before he could take to his short sword. Thankfuly in the heat of battle the Zarquilen could not spare the consentration needed to swat away or side step arrows, making them easy to pick off from the walls.
With the noise of the battle flooding in around him and blood pounding in his ears it was a small amazement to Drell that a singular thought managed to make its way to the for front of his mind. He wondered when and where the traitor that Lazmie had warned of would reveal him self.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Damnable archers!" hissed Zallack as another one of his warriors fell to the gold fletched bolts of the Lismira. This was not like the battle upon the plains where the archers had been upon the same ground as their comrades and forced to withdraw as the Zarquilen advanced. Here the archers held high ground and took full advantage of it, raining down arrows and claiming the lives of their targets the way only elvin archers could. His warriors could not afford to take their attention from the battle on the ground to deal with the death that was raining from above, not with the Minotaurs making swift advance, their heavy weapons combined with there strength fast creating gaps in the blind kings defences.
Zallack had faith in the strength of his warriors but if the archers were not stopped it would not be long before they were destroyed, and he along with them.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
At the start of the battle Gold beard had been at her side, Redtree and the knights had also been with her, but now she was alone in a sea of enemies, humans, goblins, hobgoblins, and Shadow elves, coming from every direction, or so it seemed. In the flash of swords and the press of armored bodies there was one in peticular that caught and held her attention.
He was an elf, taller then any she had ever seen, with long white hair, a black cape with a silver spider web upon it blowing and snapping about him as though it were alive as his sword blazed like silver lightning before him. It took a little while before she reconised him as Tassaiodor, the king of the Shamerra. She found it hard to belive that the warrior she saw was the same gentil man that had wished her well the day before she had left for the Temple of Second Life. Why was he fighting for Dracus?
Not willing to wait for an answer to this question Mina began to fight her way toward the elvan king.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Malakarn and Dracus had ridden to the back lines and sat there together, as far from the fighting as they could afford, servaying the progress of the battle. The Minotaurs had broken cleanly through the front lines, the blades of the Zarquilen not poseing much of a threat to them on account of their size. Mathius and his men were pushing forward center, engageing the cannibals and not holding up to their attacks nearly as well as armored men should have been. The Lismira, lead by an officer that Malakarn didnt reaconize, were also struggleing to hold up to the attacks of the cannibals. But though the Zarquilen were fighting well their numbers were being taken swiftly down by the archers atop the city walls.
"Do you wish for me to deal with the gate now your highness?"
"Not yet but I think it would greatly benefit us to be rid of those archers" Malakarn nodded, set his gaze upon the battlements and began to resite the words of a spell.
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The air upon the battlements suddenly became heavy and charged with magic. Loroedor did not have to look to know where it was coming from. Nor did he have to hear the words to know what kind of spell it was likely to be.
"Siece fire! Get off the walls! Do it now! Get off the walls!" cried Loroedor as he lowered his own bow and ran for the stairs, not stopping to see if Drell and Sarselnor had followed him, there was no time. He had barely reached the sixth step by the time the deadly magical fire engulfed the battlements. The heat was intence, he could still feel it when he reached the street. The fire spread all the way around the wall before disapering as swiftly as it had come, those who had not fled in time were now nothing but ash. He, Drell, Sarselnor and a hand full of others where the only ones to escape it.
"Dear gods, what in all hell was that?" asked Sarselnor, his eyes still fixed upon the now barren battlements.
"That your highness was just a small example of the destructive power that Malakarn weilds" said Loroedor as he slung his bow over his shoulder and drew his sword. "You shall see more of its like before this battle, before this war is over" he placed a hand upon Sarselnors shoulder. "We will grieve for the dead later your highness, there is no time now" the Lismira king nodded and drew his sword, a small smile graceing his lips.
"Your right" he looked to the few that remained of his archers. "To your swords" they obeyed, he nodded and turned to face the gate. Drell drew his own sword and looked out for a time upon the battle beyond the walls. With out warning Sarselnor rushed forward into the fray, the others close behind him.
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Tassaiodor felt his heart leap into his throat as he beheld the inferno that leaped up with out warning and swept over the battlements, claiming all the lives of those who had not had time to excape, if indeed any had escaped, not even giving them time enough to scream. He prayed that Drell and Loroedor had not been among them, the both of them desirved a better death then that. But he did not have much time to wonder, the blocking of an enormious Minotaurian axe from sweeping his head from his shoulders, takeing president over all else. When at last he felled the beast by sweeping his blade up and into its gut, the Shadow elf king became aware of the lone swords man that seemed to be cutting a path straight for him.
For a moment Tassaiodor thought that he must have been the shortest knight he had ever seen, until he realized that this was no knight, it was a woman. Though this surprised him it did not surprise him nearly as much as when he at last reconised whom the woman was. It was lady Mina, the human woman that Drell had brought to the Shadow Palace, the same one whom he and his brother had escorted to the Temple of Second Life, wearing the armor of a knight of Hain Oringard and wielding a sword just as skillfully if not more so then any other upon the field.
When at last she came before him they stared at one another for the longest time, the battle seeming to slow around them, while it waited for the both of them or at least one of them to find his or her voice. A half smile curled Minas lips.
"I had hoped that we would meet again King Tassaiodor but I never thought it would be like this"
"Nor did I. This is a surprise lady Mina, and a shame. Forgive me" Tassaiodor lunged, swinging right and low. Mina blocked the blow, shoveing the blade aside and countering with a left to right sweep of her own, which the Shadow elf king caught with ease. They traded blows till they met in a dead lock. Mina dug in, determined not to move an inch until she got some answers.
"Why are you doing this? Drell and Loroedor are here, do you want them to die fighting their own people?"
"Theyre being here is regrettable but it is a small price to pay for the lieves of my people"
"Why did you not fight Dracus? Why break a centuries old treaty and fight on the side of a man who is the enemy of all Morlaron?"
"We had no other choice! We could not have won, we would have all died. This way my people have a chance to survive. It was the only way, Drell and Loroedor understand that"
"Well I dont!"
"What you do or do not understand does not matter!" Tassaiodor moved swiftly forward forceing their blades apart and breaking the dead lock. Mina staggered back and brought her blade up to block an over head blow. As Mina steped forward, forceing the kings sword up and she swept hers toward his hip, a thought occurred to her, something she realy should have thought of before ingageing Tassaiodor in battle. As their blades connected again with a distinctive teeth rattleing clang it occurred to her that one of them would have to die in order to leave this battle. She was not realy sure she wanted to be the one to kill the King of the Shadow elves. She honestly didnt know how this had not occurred to her before now because now it was far too late. She cursed her self as she and the elf king entered another dead lock. This time there were no words.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As he faught Redtree could not get the thought of who the traitor or traitors might be out of his mind. He found himself wishing that they would just come out and execute whatever plan it was that they had and get it over with. But while his mind mulled these things over his sword was ingaged in other matters entirely.
He and the three knights that were still under his command faught back to back, having made their way through the Zarquilen with the aid of the archers. From their point of view the battle appeared to be going well for the defenders of Hain Oringard. The Minotaurs were making headway, cutting thought the enemy lines and getting closer and closer to Dracus. The Zarquilen were falling victem to Lismira arrows faster then they could cause any real devistation. The quick swords of the elves and those of the citys own armies were holding.
Or at least that was the way it was for a while. When the flames engulfed the battlements, killing all the archers stationed there instantly. New life it seemed was breathed into the bodies of the Zarquilen, who attacked now with new speed and vigor, elves and humans both falling to their blades.
"Damn it" swore Redtree, dealing quick death to the hob that stood before him before backing up a pace to talk to Ector. "I leave the other two to your care, Im going after Zallack"
"Are you insane?"
"You already know the answer to that my friend" with out another word Redtree left the formation and began to fight his way toward the cannibal chief.
"What in all hell does he think hes doing?" shouted Vlad, once Ector moved to fill the gap.
"Hes going after Zallack"
"What? Hell be killed"
"We have to go after him" said Korin, who then took a half step before Ectors voice stopped him cold.
"You will stay right here and fight Korin. You are under my order now, understood?" the youngest knight nodded and the three faught on, praying that they would see their leader again but knowing most likely that they would not.
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A crow of wicked delight escaped the lips of Zallack when the threat from the walls was so efectivly and ruthlessly eliminated. The new strength that filled him transferred to his remaining warriors and they began again to tare into the ranks of humans and elves that came upon them. Pittiful fools, by now they should have known that none could defeat the Zarquilen.
"Zallack!" the sound of his name being shouted caused the cannibal chief to stop and turn. A tall red bearded knight stood not but a few feet from him.
"Whom are you that addresses me by name?"
"I am Lionel Redtree, knight of Hain Oringard. I shall avenge each and every single life you ever took and the cruel injurie infliced upon one Valorn King of the Mountain. Face me and return to what ever deamon it was that spawned you, you black hearted bastard!" while saying this Redtree lifted his sword to the ready. A strange smile twisted Zallacks lips as he tensed his body to charge.
"For a knight you are amazeingly long winded" the Zarquilen chief sprang forward upon the red bearded knight, both blades moveing on separate orders it seemed. Right at the battles start Zallack could tell that Redtree would not fall easy. The way he moved to block the attacks of the black blades proved that the had either fought or had been trained to fight a warrior of the Zarquilen. He did not let the rappid attacks either confuse nor panic him. He blocked prociesly and pationtly, waiting for an opening in the chiefs defence, he would find none, but neither could Zallack find a break in the knights defence. He used the size of his sword efectivly enough to make the option of a second weapon obsolete.
They faught for what to anyone else would have seemed an impossible amount of time for someone to withstand the attack of a Zarquilen. Until at last Zallack found what he had been waiting for. As Redtree swung his sword right to left and the up and away, aiming to come down again from over head he left him self wide open. Zallack made his move. His right blade swung up catching one of Redtrees arms and causing him to drop his sword. With his left blade he thrust forward driving into the knights chest and through his heart. A bubble of blood formed in the knights mouth and burst before he fell backward to the ground. Zallacks victory was short lived. Mere moments later his head was swept from his body, sending up a fountain of blood that came down in a shower. The blade that had struck the blow belonged to Drell who strode forward to kneal beside the body of his friend as Zallacks head hit the ground and tumbled away into the chaos. Drell placed his fingers to Redtrees throat to check for a life beat, he should have known it was a usless act, for the knight was already dead. The young Shadow elf sighed and closed his friends still warm greenish blue eyes.
"Be at ease my friend, you shall remembered" Drell stood then, found Malakarn in the distance and started to cut a path to him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Zallack has fallen your highness"
"Tassaiodor?"
"Alive"
"Erin?"
"The same"
"Then Zallacks loss does not matter. How do our enimeies fare?"
"Mathius lives, as does General Claymore and they are making continued progress. Emperor Soth and his officer, Major Jather have almost reached our back lines with their forces. And the Lismira, though they have gained in moral, they have not gained much ground" Dracus nodded.
"I see" he fell silent then, his empty blindfolded sockets scanning the field, his sharpened sences giving him a clear enough picture of how the battle was progressing. At this point either side stood a chance of winning. That was about to change, it was time to end this battle and dispence with Mathiuss sharade.
"Destroy the gate" Malakarn nodded and set his gaze upon the gate of Hain Oringard, pure white marble adorned with the wings of the Griffon, it almost seemed a shame to destroy them but such were the sacrifices of war. A half smile curled Malakarns lips as he again began to resite the words of the spell that he had used before.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The force and destruction of the blast was at once aw inspireing and terrible. The gate of Hain Oringard the Mighty, that no battering ram could have possibly broken, shattered and burst, sending great chucks of marble flying forward and back, a good ten or more feet of the wall on either side went with it. Blinding light and flame acompanyed the deafening boom, louder still then a thousand thunderstorms, that swallowed all other sound, includeing the splintering crashes that were the result of pieces of the gate and walls slaming into the buildings of the city that they had been built to protect. The slabs of falling stone took the lives of countless thousands, on both sides.
For Mina it was almost dajavu exept that instead of witnessing the blast from afar, she was in it. When the chaos turned to silence only then did she and the others that remained alive upon the field, stand slowy to their feet to see the scale of the destruction that had been visited upon them.
Great slabs of pure white stone lay scatterd across the entirety of the field, their crushed victims mercyfuly hidden from sight. A silence almost as great as the explosion it self settled over the field like a heavy blanket. None moved or spoke and some scarce breathed, arms now to weak from shock to weild their weapons and continue the fight.
Mina turned and caught the eyes of Tassaiodor who, save for a large deep cut above his right eye, had also come through the blast unharmed. Neither said a word and in the silence the clang of a single sword echoed out into the still falling snow. All looked for the sorce of the sound. When it was found Mina felt her blood run cold. Mathius had cast down his sword.
General Claymore, his left leg bleeding badly and leaning heavily upon his right, stared at his king dumbfounded.
"Your highness? What is this? What are you doing?" as if he had not heared his General, Mathius turned to regard Dracus steadily.
"The city is yours King Dracus as promised"
"What the hell is this?" cried Claymore. At last Mathius turned to him.
"Im sorry John but this was the only way to ensure the safty of my people. They will not be harmed, Dracus has sworn to that"
"And you believe him?" to this Mathius did not answer. Instead he looked out over his men, and those of the other two armies.
"We are surrendering. Through down your weapons all of you"
"A traitor. Gods damn it how could you be the traitor? My king? I served you so well, I belived. Why?" Claymore barely reconised the voice as his own, it sounded weak, lost, hopeless. Mathius felt his heart constrict with guilt.
"I had to John. Look around you do you honestly think we could have won this day?"
"Yes, I do" the General said this through clentched teeth, his strength returning to him with his anger. Claymore raised his sword and leaped toward his king. Damn you! Mathius made no move to defend himself. Before the General could strike a Shamerra arrow pierced through his back and into his heart. He fell with a heavy thud at the feet of his king who shook his head sadly before looking out over the armies again.
"I command you to through down your weapons, all of you" slowly, eyes upon their dead General and his last words filling their minds and their hearts, the knights of Hain Oringard discarded their swords. Sarselnor held fast to his sword and looked upon the human king with defiance.
"My men do not serve you king Mathius, they serve me. And I say that we shall not serender"
"As do I. The Minotaur will roll over for no one" declared Soth, his voice rumbleing through the stillness of the air. Into that stillness Drell moved to stand next to Sarselnor.
"What ever promises that Dracus has made to you King Mathius I can assure you that he has no intention of keeping them. Sir Redtree is dead, he was not the first nor shall he be the last of your people to die at the hands of Dracus and his men. You are a fool for trusting him and I hope by all the gods that you live to regret this day" for a brief moment it seemed as if the young elfs words might have had the desired effect upon the ageing king. For the sadness in his expression deepened and was replaced by something that appeared to be a mix of reolization and shock.
Seeing this Malakarn narrowed his gaze upon Drell.
"I think that that is more then enough out of you brat" the elf mage lifted his right hand and shouted the words of a spell. A bolt of lightning streaked toward Drell, who made no move to get out of the way, knowing that it would be futile. Just when it seemed the young elf would surly be struck down Loroedor sprang forward, faster then anyone could have imagioned, placeing him self infront of his brother and takeing the full force of the bolt in his chest, the force of the spell knocking him back into his younger brothers arms.
It had all happened so fast that for a few awful moments, in which it seemed all sound had been stolen from the world, Drell found himself unable to speak, unable to think clearly as he took fast hold of his brother and went to his knees.
The pain, though horrible and far worse then anything Loroedor had ever felt before, raced though his body so swiftly that it contorted his body and face for mere moments only befor disappearing, leaveing behind a sharp sting that pervaded the entirety of his body. A blackened smoldering hole remained to show where the lightning bolt had punched though his chest and the smell of burned flesh and boiled blood wafted up from it. Small sparks danced between his slack lips. His eyes hurt and all, save for his brothers face, was lost in a sea of white. Somehow he managed the faintest of smiles. When he spoke his voice was raw and hollow like that of a man centuries dead.
"After all these years I thought you had learned when to keep your mouth shut" the sound of his brothers dieing voice broke Drell out of his stunned state. He tightened his grip upon his older brother as tears formed in his eyes.
"Fool, why did you do that?"
"Youre my brother Drell"
"But now your, no you cant die. You promised me, remember? You promised me we would go home, together" Loroedors smile fell.
"I know what I said. I guess I should have listened to you and not made a promise I couldnt keep" his eyes closed then and he fell silent and for a moment Drell thought he had died, his eyes closed and his tears fell freely.
"Drell?" Loroedors voice was fainter now, Drell opened his eyes.
"Yes?"
"Fathers sword, take it. Its yours now. Use it well and take care brother" Loroedors last breath fled from him then. An agonized cry tore from Drells throat as he clutched Loroedors body close to him. No one else made a move nor a sound. The falling snow louder then all of them combined as they stood in witness to this outpouring of sorrow.
Drell wept with out carring that there were eyes upon him. Let them see, let them all see how much he had loved his brother and what their gods accursed war had done. What was he supposed to do now? He had no home to go to. He was an outsider, an enemy. Redtree was gone, slain by Zallack, and now Loroedor was dead too. With out his brother for the first time in his life Drell was truly alone. Malakarns vengence was half complete. Drell opened his eyes and raised his head to meet the gaze of the dark elf mage, who still sat upon his horse with a look of barely disgised triumph on his face. Anger with strength enough to match his sorrow flooded the young elfs heart as he looked upon the man who had taken his brother, as well as his father from him.
"Malakarn! You had best finish your revenge right here and now. Kill me, or I swear by all the gods Ill make you pay for this. For the death of my brother youll suffer the worst tortures of hell!" the elf mages eyes narrowed as he lifted his hand to cast.
"Drell!" shouted a voice that could only belong to Mina as she ran toward the elf and his fallen brother.
"No! Mina stay away!"
"Thats enough Malakarn" the voice of King Dracus as he removed his black helm and placed it under his arm. Malakarn scowled but obeyed, lowering his hand and watching as Mina reached Drells side and dopped to her knees next to him, placeing her arms about his shoulders. Slowly Dracus reached up and removed the blindfold that consealed his deformity. A sound like that of a thousand indrawn breaths passed through out the armies, even Dracuss own. The blind king paid no heed to it.
"I did not expect for the people of this country to be easy to best, and I was right. I admire your spirit but think for a moment if you will. This battle has been long and hard and has taken its toll upon all of us. Not only that but if you were to continue fighting now instead of serendering you would have the knights of Hain Oringard to fight together with my own men. I do not like to see brave men waisted. And I do think that you would all rather die in a fight where you stand a chance of winning rather then being anililated in a slaughter. And so I will allow you to flee with your lives so that I might have the honor of fighting and defeating you again. I sudgest you take my offer, for I shall not make it again" a stillness past over all as each man weighed his options against Dracuss words. Slowly weapons were sheathed, the wounded braught to their feet or carried, as the Minotaurs and the Lismira turned their steps to walk or ride south.
Drell placed his brothers sword, his fathers sword, in its sheath and stood up with Minas arms still around him. He cast Malakarn a scatheing glance before whistleing for Neroehain, who ran swiftly to his side. The nightmare lowered his great head to nuzzle Loroedor in farewell. Drell nodded slowly and placed a gentle hand to Neroehains neck before mounting up. Once settled properly Drell leaned down and offered a hand to Mina, who took it firmly and allowed her self to be pulled up behind the elf. She placed her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. Drell looked down once more upon his brother and tied the sword about his waist before moveing Neroehain south to follow the others.
As they rode past Tassaiodor, the Shadow elf king looked up and fixed Drell with a look of such deep regret that the younger elf was forced to stop.
"I will not allow any further harm to come to him. He will be buried honorably, I swear" Drell nodded.
"I am greatful your highness, farewell" Tassaiodor nodded.
"Farewell" Drell nodded and continued on with out a word. The two armies continued rideing south for it was the only direction they could think to go. The victorius shouts of the army of the blind king followed them past the Jade Arch and almost to the shore of Dragon Head Lake where they at last stopped to make camp.
There were no tents but by this time the snow had stopped so it did not much matter. Fires were set and bedrolls layed out, Minotaurs and elves sat together, shareing a comradery that came from having faught, bled, and died together for a single cause. A few of Mathiuss men had also come with them, refuseing to fight under their treacherous king, and seeing Korin, Vlad and Ector leaving the field with Gold beard in their company.
Drell had set his own small fire far from the others. He wished to be alone and was glad that Mina and his friends respected that. He had expected that Sarselnor would go to Soth and ask for a meeting to assembled to discus what to do next. But it seemed that both leaders were, like their men, far to tired to think about anything other then satisfying their hunger and resting. Drell didnt eat, the ache in his heart eraseing all else. He held the long sword in its black sheath close to him and ran his fingers loveingly over the quarts crystal that glowed dully in the fires light. His eyes wandered north into the blackness beyond the light of his fire, toward Hain Oringard, now in the hands of their enemies, where the man that had killed his father and brother now slept in the comforts of Griffons Head with is wife at his side, and repeated the oath that he had made earlier quietly to him self. Malakarn would pay. He would suffer most terribly for everything he had done. Drell would see to it.
The young shadow elf forced his eyes away back toward the camp, for fear that if he continued looking into the dark he would go mad with hate and charge back to the fallen city that same night to exact his vengence. His eyes found Mina where she sat not far away with Gold beard and the three knights. There was his one comfort. He still had her and his friends. They would see him thew to the end, aid him in his grief and his pain. Though his brothers passing had left a hole in his heart, his soul, and his life, while he still had them he would never be truly alone. He was awake long past the rest of them had gone to sleep remembering his brother and the home that he was likely never to see again. When at last sleep did steel upon him dawn was a mere three hours away.
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
Edited by - dark mage on 06 Apr 2010 17:08:41 |
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Moon Crazed
Advanced Member
USA
5149 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 01:11:07
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O.O Whoa...Long post, seriously long post, but...Whoa...I like it. O.O
  
"Fear not what you may read, but what you may not."
"Hah! Your aims as rotten as your meatballs!"
"NARCOLEPSY!"
"Stupid Newlyweds and their fireworks. Just like a kid on the fourth of July."
-Kalowen |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 01:17:27
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.....Okay where do I sign up to get to read the whole thing and all three books!!!....! MORE!!!!  |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 01:31:14
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Realy? U think its alright? It flows nice? No improvements? No changes? Oh and I had not reolized that the quotation marks were missing, sorry about that. I can imagine how much harder to read that may have made things. Ooopse
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
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Fizban Who
Moderator
USA
32527 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 01:41:13
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| ((I need to know more about the storyline and the backgound and the main dudes and dudets..... but I know there was only so much you could put in here. I will read it a couple more times and come in with some more DM )) |
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dark mage
Moderator
Canada
29908 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 01:52:04
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okie dokie, and I will put in some major editing, prob 2morrow since its kind of late now, and get the quotation marks in
"If Edward is a boy why does he sparkle like a princess in a tyara?"(SNL)
"Stepheanie Meyer's Edward and friends are NOT vampires. They are Sparklepire's" (SatyrPhil Brucato, writer for Realms of Fantasy mag) |
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Moon Crazed
Advanced Member
USA
5149 Posts |
Posted - 06 Apr 2010 : 08:49:49
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The highest honor I can give it is that it flowed like a good published book. It left the reader with a full picture of the scene before them. Over written at times, but with spelling edits it should be fit as a fiddle.
"Fear not what you may read, but what you may not."
"Hah! Your aims as rotten as your meatballs!"
"NARCOLEPSY!"
"Stupid Newlyweds and their fireworks. Just like a kid on the fourth of July."
-Kalowen |
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The Music of Darkness
